walaupun ada sesetengah orang cakap, and i quote, 'tak semestinya dah kahwin kita kena berkorban' or 'married life is as interesting as single life' or 'tak salah kita berkorban demi keluarga'.
and i would say, good for you guys who feel that way.
the truth to the matter is, MOSTLY dari kita yang sudah berkahwin, akan setuju, life is not that great the way we imagine it before we get married.
now, i am talking as a wife, not as the husband. sila jangan get offensive.
1. freedom. not just any freedom. freedom to do whatever we want, when we want it, where we want it. now, please, do. not. get. me. wrong. i love the unfreedom times here and there, tapi, kalau bangun pagi untuk makan pagi bersama, at 7 am, on WEEKENDS, now that is just plain annoying. darlings, weekend is the day to unwind, not have anything to conform to, to just relax. silalah faham. u may have all the energy in the world, selepas bekerja 5 hari seminggu dan masih lagi mempunyai semangat untuk bangun pagi untuk makan pagi, alhamdulillah. good for you. but not me. i am not full of energy. again. sila. faham.
2. money. not just any money. the money that i work hard for, 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. yes, now i am married, it is a noble thing kalau kita tolong husband kita dari segi kewangan. tapi, girls this century, we have to be smart and clever. kita kena ada simpanan, for those hopefully-never dark days. contoh hari-hari gelap yang boleh berlaku: perceraian, kematian suami, bencana alam, krisis keluarga, etc. orang melayu cakap, menabung untuk hari kecemasan. orang putih cakap, for rainy days. saya cakap, untuk hari celake. and, kita nak juga merasa beli benda2 indulgence, contoh: handbag, kasut, baju, seluar, perfume, etc. mungkin kita selalu dengar orang cakap, 'jangan membazir'. i would say to them, fuck off. i bust my ass everyday, working, kau boleh cakap 'jangan membazir'. kau ingat aku ni hamba ke? i. hope. u. die.
3. perhatian. not just any perhatian. perhatian dari seorang lelaki. now, i am not complaining. en nasir is doing his best in making me feel loved. duh, he even bought me roti gula keras 5 bungkus. (thank u so much for that). tapi, that is not enough. buying things is not enough. kelakuan kena selari dengan percakapan. walk the talk. talk the walk. kalau kita selalu dengar, 'i love you' tapi kita tahu dia dok melayan perempuan lain, those beautiful 3 words do not mean a thing. kalau dia selalu bagi kita roses, tapi tak pernah ucapkan dia sayang kita, macam mana kita tahu dia sayang kita? so, walk and talk kena selari. dua2 kena ada. kena ucap, kena buat. nak mintak kat lelaki lain, itu sudah nusyuz.
4. fun. not just any fun. the kind of fun that we both love. tapi, seriously, kalau kita dah kurang gelak, wtf? lepas kahwin kena kurang gelak ke? kena jadi serious ke? if that's the case, then i think marriage is the best thing to get kalau nak mati cepat. mati kebosanan. i envy those married couples who laugh all the time and talk all the time with each other as if they have no problems in their mind. dulu, saya dengan en nasir selalu nyanyi sama, tengok tivi sama, pergi jalan sama, shopping sama. but now, he seems to be tired ALL the time. weekend pon penat, weekdays lagilah penat. so, no more fun for us.
these are four things that i think i have let go after geting married.
i know it seems like i am complaining all the way, tapi, sila faham bahawa kesabaran saya sudah 90% habis, and i think COMPLAINING is the way to get it out off my chest. kalau pendam, konon bersabar, saya takut one day i will explode. so, let me put it all here before i do some more damage to the marriage, which i think is on the verge of dying.
please. do not judge me.
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